When taking care of our physical health we are advised by Doctors to have a yearly physical, even if we appear healthy and are symptom free. At these appointments the physician will take some basic measurements such as blood pressure and weight and will also ask you some questions about your general health. The doctor is trained to look for signs and symptoms of the first stages of illness or disease so the questions they ask and the tests they perform are chosen specifically for the purpose of revealing an area that may need further investigation.

Our marriages need to be taken care of in much the same way. Regular marital  check ups can ensure that we detect problems before they get too big and take preventative measures. Those of us who feel that we are in healthy and strong marriages can use a marital check up to reflect on what is working and what areas need a little extra attention. For those couples who are fully aware that their marriages are not healthy, a marital check up can be a useful tool to identify exactly what area needs the work and make a plan to address it.

Below is a sample Marital Check up that you can use to highlight areas for discussion. We suggest that both husband and wife go through the list independently and then get together later in the day to discuss it. This is an effective tool to promote discussion about key areas in your marriage, so set the time appropriately by preparing in advance. Maybe you could go out to a restaurant or order in a meal, play some soft music, light some candles and enjoy this time together. Whatever you do don’t try this on the bus or with all your kids running around under foot! Feel free to use the check up below as a guide and adapt for your marriage if you wish – it is not the tool that is the key to the success of your marital check up it is the discussion that it brings about so whatever way you do it the results will be the same. Open and honest communication in a supportive and loving environment can only enhance your marriage.

Marital Check up:

(Tick areas that you feel need to be discussed further)

__    Communication:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate communication in your marriage? ____

__    Quality time:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate the quality time spent in your marriage? ____

__    Expressions of love:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how satisfied are you in the way your partner shows their love? ____

__    Conflict resolution:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate your conflict resolution in your marriage? ____

__    Fun & laughter:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how satisfied are you with the fun and laughter in your marriage? ____

__    Listening:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate your spouse’s listening skills? ____

__    Sharing vision and feelings:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate the sharing that happens in your marriage? ____

__    Praying together:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate prayer in your marriage? ____

__    Sex:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate your sex life? ____

__    Patience:

On a scale of 1 – 10 how would you rate you and your spouse’s patience levels? ____

__    Other: Write down other areas you wish to discuss with your spouse here:

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